Setting boundaries is a difficult thing to do, even more difficult during the holidays. For me setting boundaries includes saying no to attending an event, not running one more errand, or pushing myself to cook when I’m already feeling tired and stressed.

Why is it so hard to set boundaries? 

I’ve realized it’s related to my values of integrity and loyalty. My values have both helped and hurt my well-being. They have driven me to complete a task, work project, or volunteer event when I'm not motivated to do it. My internal conscience kicks in saying “stick to it!” 

The same drive has led to stress and exhaustion from committing to more than I can mentally and physically handle. Not setting boundaries results in my getting stressed out, less sleep, and poor nutrition. I get upset with myself for taking on too much. This results in an illness flare. A flare around the holidays is a stark reminder of my needing to set boundaries. 

So how do you set healthy boundaries? 

Examine your values. Your values affect your beliefs. Your beliefs affect your thoughts. Your thoughts affect your taking action to set boundaries.

My values led me to pushing myself too hard. I believed that I had to do everything to be worthy of acceptance. I feared being rejected for letting others down. These beliefs were holding me back from setting the boundaries I needed. 

Taking action and saying no helped my well-being along with my integrity and loyalty. Saying no allows me to not overcommit and be able to do what I say I will do. I am now comfortable saying no to attending an event, seeing a friend, or cooking a meal without fear of rejection. I feel rested, nourished, and at peace.

 I have to remind myself daily that setting boundaries is part of finding balance. Setting boundaries is an act of self-care. It's a step in the process of finding resilience for wellness.  

What boundaries do you need to set over the holidays to ensure your own well-being?

If you need help in setting healthy boundaries for your well-being, reach out to schedule a free session with me.